Jen Coffey's Journal

Subject:	A Story For The Kids
Time:	11:20 am.

I was dogsitting/housesitting for my boss this week, and around 4AM on Thursday morning, I was roused awake by a weird sensation going from my left arm to the right side of my body. Coming to, I felt cold scratchy feet and a rather heavy weight on my right arm. Turns out, it was a rat, crawling over my arm. No joke…a huge RAT. Awesome! I can't even tell you how thrilled I was about this experience. Needless to say, I slept (not really) with the lights on for the rest of the night.

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Gob: (about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension till the last possible moment before they strip.
Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?
Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Blame Tristan.
Time:	7:45 pm.

What Planet Are You From?

You Are From the Sun

Of all your friends, you're the shining star. You're dramatic, loving attention and the spotlight. You're a total entertainer and the life of the party. Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty. Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!

What number are you?

You Are the Helper

2

You always put on a happy face and try to help those around you.

You're incredibly empathetic and care about everyone you know.

Able to see the good in others, you're thoughtful, warm, and sincere.

You connect with people who are charming and charismatic.

**Note: Don't blame Tristan for the following quizzes. These were taken of my own volition.

Who is your inner bombshell?
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YOU ARE AUDREY HEPBURN

WORSHIP! You're inner Bombshell is the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. Like her, you've been blessed with a "certain something" that no one could describe accurately. You are more reserved than other bombshells, and that shows in your gentle, graceful nature. You like doing things for other people and love volunteering for your favorite charity. Yours is a rare gift in this day and age. You don't need to show a lot of skin to be sexy; All you need is your eyes. To see Audrey at the top of her game, watch the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany’s".

The Alphabet Quiz:

Age: 24
Booze: I'll have a Cosmopolitan please.
Career: Conference/Function Planner
Dad's Name: Jerry
Essential Items to Bring to a Party: Comfortable yet absolutely adorable shoes on my feet, a camera, and good company.
Favorite Song at the Moment: Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning
Girlfriend: Yes, I have them, and I'm so very fortunate that I do! (See: "I am thankful" journal entry.)
Hometown: Tempe, Arizona
Instruments You Play: Piano
Jam/Jelly You Like: Blueberry
Kids: I would like two.
Living Arrangements: Two-Tiered Townhouse with Tristan (How good is alliteration??)
Mom's Name: Myong
Name of Your Best Friend: Again, see the "I am thankful" journal entry. If you need a recap (in closest proximity order): Tristan, Alyson, Katherine, Dan, John, Valerie, Lindsay, Pejman, Brandon, Richard.
Overnight Hospital Stays: They suck.
Phobia(s): Cockroaches, Jaws (as in the shark)
Quote You Like:

Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting...and you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences! But the thing is...what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, in fact, perhaps -- ...despite appearances...I like you.
Bridget Jones: Ah, apart from the smoking, and the drinking, the vulgar mother and...ah, the verbal diarrhea, and --
Mark Darcy: No. I like you...very much...just as you are.

Relationship that Lasted the Longest: Approximately two years.
Sexual Position: Yeah, let me share that on Live Journal. Seems appropriate.
Time You Wake Up: 7:30AM - 8:00AM
Unique Trait: Apparently, I look like no one else. Oh, and, dogs and children love me.
Vegetable: Snap Peas and/or Jicama
Worst Trait: I still bite my nails.
Yummy Food You Make: Blueberry Muffins
Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Lindsay: I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	I am thankful...
Time:	9:00 pm.

I am thankful for my Mom, her hard work, and her inability to say any movie title correctly.

I am thankful for my Dad, his ambition, and how he is not bald -- he is just simply taller than his hair.

I am thankful for Dustin, for being my brother, and for how much we laugh when we're together.

I am thankful for Jak, Jimmy, Peter, and Shadow.

I am thankful for my AZ Group O' Friends and our ability to stay close through all these years.

I am thankful for Nima, his friendship, and the chance to say goodbye.

I am thankful for the new friends that have entered my life (see: Allison Johnson, Kathy Jackson, and Team Neuroscience).

I am thankful for the significant others that are in my friends' lives.

I am thankful for Francesca, her increasing love of shoes (I claim no responsibility), and getting to watch her grow up.

I am thankful for the Gunther family, their unconditional support and love, for always making me grin ear-to-ear, and introducing me to Tivo.

I am thankful for Tristan, his "He's my dear friend AND roommate!" role, for making one of my best friends so happy, and his Scrabble skills.

I am thankful for The Boys - John, Brandon, Pejman, and Richard - for their humor, for always making me laugh, for their love of the Cardinals and/or planes, for some of my best experiences, for the stories, for the privilege of having them in my life, and for the many more memories to come.

I am thankful for my girlfriends - Alyson, Katherine, Lindsay, and Valerie - for being my pillars, for always have an ear or shoulder available, for the hours-on-end of conversation, for the "I'm laughing so hard, I'm in pain" guffaws, for always watching out for me, for their unwavering support, and for honoring me with their friendship.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Quickie
Time:	7:18 pm.

A Picture for Valerie Carr of the Day:

Rodney Dangerfield Quote of the Day:
All I know is, I gotta lotta balls.

Another Picture for Valerie Carr of the Day:

Bambi Quote of the Day:
Bambi: (runs nose to nose into a skunk) Flower?
Thumper: (laughs hysterically) That's not a flower!
Flower: That's all right. He can call me "Flower" if he wants to.

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Gob: I F#@%ed Kitty!
Michael: Oh, Gob. I just wanted you to get the information.
Gob: Oh, I got the "information".
Michael: You did, huh? About the international accounts?
Gob: Oh...I see what you're getting at. (pause) No, I didn't get any information.

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Quizzes = No Creativity
Time:	9:44 pm.

I have no creative energy to put out a personalized journal entry right now, so instead, here are mindless quizzes to take up some space. However, in the next couple days, I will be posting a few journals, which will highlight my upcoming school schedule at UCSB, pictures of my townhouse abode, and other miscellaneous thoughts. Until then, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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You are Betty Grable!

You're Betty Grable!

Who's your male Buffy soul mate?
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Where Does Your Beauty Lie?
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E: Your Beauty lies in Mystery. Captivating, mysterious and alone. You are the girl in the little black number that no one seems to know, the eternal mystery girl. You make it a point to never let anyone know more about you than you want them to and do a very good job of it. You're there one minute and gone the next, leaving them in wonder of who you really are. A mature and normally calm individual, quiet and enjoy spending many hours of the day on your own, most likely preferring night to day. You love the dark and some may find you a bit strange. You seem to be rather distant and cold, making it hard for people to get close to you, though you probably like the distance they usually keep. You probably wear make-up, but concentrate more around your eyes than anything. You know the effect you have and enjoy keeping people in wonder.</p>Some Things That Represent You:</p>Element: Dark, Water Animal: Panther Color: Black, Maroon, Dark Tones Song: In The Shadows by The Rasmus Expression: Sly Smile</p>Gemstone: Black Diamond Mythological Creature: Demon, Vampire Sign: Scorpio Planet: Venus Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Garnet</p>
What season are you?
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You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time alone but do like other people's company sometimes. You just need your space. You have a few privileged friends who saw past your colder exterior to find the true you. You can have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to admit it), so you could be soft one second then storming around the next! But over all, you're a very pleasant person once people take the time to get to know you. You're a good friend for in-depth talks. You're very talented when it comes to creative things.

Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?
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HASH(0x8abf5a0)

The Hummingbird Spirit Calls To You!

The hummingbird represents optimism and sweetness. Being able to roll with the punches is an attribute of the hummingbird. The hummingbird's wisdom includes:

Ability to heal by using light as a laser from mouth

Endurance over long journeys

Ability to fly into small places to heal

Joy

Happiness

Love

Messenger, stopper of time.

Which Marilyn Monroe Are You?
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You're Norma Jean. You're sweet, lovely, and innocent.

Apology of the Day: I'm sorry, my dear readers, for putting you through the above journal entry. Couldn't I have just not posted this? Eh...what are you going to do? (...I understand that the applicable answer is "Not post this", so again...so sorry.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Day:
Angel: It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.

Ridiculous Dog Picture of the Day:

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Michael: Mom wanted me to tell you she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater.
Buster: Dammit! I hate the blue sweater!
Michael: She said it would look nice with the gray pants.
Buster: Dammit! She's right!

Comments: Read 40 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Look, Ma -- I'm a superhero!
Time:	8:58 pm.

If you joined a superhero group...
Username
What kind of powers would you have?
How did you get your powers?
You joined the team because...
The leader of the Team would be..	cards2superbowl
The angsty loner with tons of psychological issues	surewoodskizm
The spunky mascot	bogebogehey
The well intentioned but volitile mad genius	thepenismighter
The reformed supervillian 'turned-good'	johnohab
Your personal arch nemesis	mr_papyrus
The overwhelmingly evil and powerfull supervillian	vicepresident
The pesky fan or reporter	valcarr

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Classified Ad of the Day:
Wedding gown, size 18, extra-long train, fingertip veil, new $1600; $400/OBO. Worn once because I was an idiot.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Homer: Oh, my horoscope! "Taurus: Today, you will DIE...and you may get a compliment from an attractive co-worker!!" Oooooh -- Lenny?

Arrested Development Quote of the Day:
Lucille: (complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party) Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	What Disney Princess Are You?
Time:	9:18 pm.

Take the quiz: "What Disney Princess Are You?"

Belle
You love your friends and family dearly, and you're a bookworm. Get your head into the world, darlin'!

Beauty and the Beast Quote #1 of the Day:
Beast: (to Belle) You'll come out...or I'll break down the door!!
Lumiere: Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.

Beauty and the Beast Quote #2 of the Day:
Gaston: How can you read this? There are no pictures!

Beauty and the Best Quote #3 of the Day:
Lefou (singing): No one plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston, plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Principal Skinner: Young man, the school dress code specifically forbids the wearing of earrings unless you're of gypsy extraction.

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
Time:	8:50 pm.

I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your romance is "The Princess Bride". A heartwarming tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants, Spaniards and swashbuckling. You really do think that love can overcome anything. You may be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in the right place. You've probably got one of those relationships where proper nouns have been replaced with "Snookums" and "Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware of cuteness overload.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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The Princess Bride Quote of the Day:
Miracle Max: True love is the greatest thing in the world...except for a nice MLT -- mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato is ripe -- they're so perky! I love that.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Louann (Milhouse's Mom): You think I'm proud?! I had to steal clothes from the church donation box!
Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, sweet Jesus.

Comments: Read 31 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	The Big Move
Time:	3:31 pm.

After living in my current residence for over three-and-a-half years (and by "living", I mean "sleeping in a closet of a room") and needing a change of surroundings, I finally decided it was time to look for a new place. However, I couldn't afford a one-bedroom apartment for $1000 ++ /month. Luckily, I remembered having a conversation with your good friend and mine, Tristan, who was also somewhat unhappy with his living situation. After much discussion (and by "much", I mean "five minutes"), Tristan and I decided to look for an apartment together.

Through my job at the Rental Property Association, I called many of my contacts to check availability in Santa Barbara. On perhaps my third call, I found exactly what we were looking for...and better: A two-bedroom townhouse nestled in a quiet and woodsy neighborhood of Santa Barbara. Tristan and I both loved how it sounded, so we arranged an appointment immediately with the manager, Lois. On inspection, we decided that we absolutely wanted it. The layout consists of a downstairs living area, 1/2 bathroom, kitchen, and porch, and the two bedrooms and full bathroom are upstairs. We also get a carport, which includes a huge storage space, as well as a space in the parking lot, so no more street parking for me! All this...for only $1300.00/month! If you know anything about the rental market in Santa Barbara, you will realize that this is an unbelievably low price, so needless to say, Tristan and I are totally stoked! And, the best part about all of this is that I, ladies and gentlemen, will have TWO closets. Yes, that's right -- TWO closets. Since Tristan is getting the bigger bedroom, he graciously decided that I could have the large upstairs hallway closet all to myself, which will house my shoes quite comfortably. It's really every girl's dream!

On Tuesday of this week, Tristan and I met up to do some apartment necessities shopping (i.e. cookware, bathroom decor, etc.). We went to Linens and Things, K-Mart, Linens and Things, Ross, K-Mart, and Linens and Things. As you can see, we had a hard time with some of the decision-making to be had at each store. However, after a few hours, we were able to purchase about 90% of the items on our list, so we are in excellent shape for the big move. We, along with Alyson, will be going to yard sales this weekend to look for some furniture, and then making a trip to Ikea on Tuesday. Our official moving day begins on Friday, September 24th, so hopefully by then, we will have almost everything we need for our new place. We are hoping to have a housewarming party sometime in November, so stay tuned for further details. Also to come: pictures of the townhouse.

I am so excited about this new transition in my life! I'm thrilled to have a new place to call my own, and to have one of my dearest friends be my roommate is definitely an added bonus!

To read Tristan's and Katherine's thoughts on having me as a roommate, click here.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Homer: I swore I would never read again after To Kill a Mockingbird told me nothing about how to kill mockingbirds.

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	There's no crying in football!
Time:	6:05 pm.

On Wednesday, September 1st, at exactly 8:00PM PST, I, along with eleven other gentlemen, participated in the annual Fantasy Football draft for the 2004 - 2005 season. Since my internet at home operates on a 56K modem, I thought it best to do my draft at Dan and Katherine's house. With my last year's statistics in hand and my scantily-clad cheerleader by my side, I was prepared and ready to go. With one minute left before the draft began, the computer decided to completely freeze up, which put Katherine in a state of panic, but luckily, we managed to get back into the draft as the first pick was underway.

(Sidenote: I would like to thank Katherine for all of her help during this year's draft. Not only did she provide me with a delicious dinner and homemade oatmeal-raisin cookies, she also helped with crossing off names on the "cheatsheet", relaying what available players were left, and being more stressed than I was during the entire draft. Thank you, Katherine -- you're fabulous!)

As many of you know, I have done rather well in these fantasy leagues, so this year will be no exception. However, I decided to try another strategy this year with regard to drafting my players: I did zero research. Apparently, this is not the way to go as evidenced by my following roster (in order the players were drafted):

1. Jamal Lewis: Facing federal drug conspiracy charges as well as an extra charge of attempting to possess cocaine. This could mean jail time for one of the last year's best RBs in the league.
2. Brett Favre: I hate this guy. Hate. I am using the word "hate" with Brett Favre. I just want to make this clear: hate = Brett Favre...And now, I have to root for him.
3. Chris Chambers
4. New England Defense
5. Mike Vanderjagt
6. Anquan Boldin: Injured. Start date will most likely be around Week 8.
7. Moe Williams: He's starting the first week, but who knows what his status will be for the second.
8. Keenan McCardell: Not yet signed with any team.
9. Donald Driver (later waived for Terry Glenn)
10. Eddie Kennison
11. Randy McMichael: If you don't have Tony Gonzalez as your TE, then this position means nothing and will bring you few points. As you can see, I do not have Tony Gonzalez.
12. Jake Plummer: I also hate this guy.
13. Kansas City Defense
14. Ron Dayne: I don't even think this guy plays anymore!

So, in conclusion, I don't think I'll be using the "Only Draft Unsigned/Injured/Jailbird Players" strategy next year and would not highly recommend it to anyone. But, mark my words, I plan to make a huge comeback during the season, and I guarantee you that I will win the league...or at least come in the top ten (...out of twelve).

Olympic Commentary of the Day (provided by Katherine Gunther):
Weightlifting Commentator: This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm-up, and it was amazing.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Principal Skinner: Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Go, Gauchos! / Fantasy Football
Time:	4:10 pm.

As many of you know, I had to "take a break" from school due to financial reasons in the spring of 2002. During this time, I worked full-time and over (remember that period when I had about nine different jobs and Pejman was convinced I worked in a coal mine?) and was able to establish financial independence and California residency. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I'm no longer a Zonie.

A side story to becoming a California resident: I met with the Residency Supervisor yesterday. The day before, I had filled out online a "Statement of Legal Residence (SLR)" and wanted to ask him some general questions about it, such as "how long will it take to process". After asking him this question and being informed that he had "no idea -- it could take months" due to the numerous requests that he receives, I decided to show him my printed record of the SLR and asked him if he felt that I would be declared a resident before the winter quarter. I don't know if it was my charming personality (ha!) or my incredible good looks (haha!), but in a matter of thirty seconds, he looked over my submitted SLR, pulled up my school record, and changed "California Resident: No" to a big "YES". Here's the thing: he didn't verify any of the information I submitted on the SLR. Granted, there's no way I wouldn't now be considered a California resident after filing CA taxes, registering my car in CA, obtaining a CA driver's license, registering to vote in CA, and being financially independent. But, come on -- I took more than two years off to gain this "California Residency", and he just took my word for it, which brings me to the conclusion that I could have just lied in the first place and not wasted these two+ years. Thanks for that.

So, anyway, after a variety of meetings at UCSB during the past couple of months, I am officially cleared to register and will be re-attending the university in January 2005. I have about two quarters remaining before obtaining my degree. Woohoo! Clear your calendars in June, people...my long-awaited graduation will be celebrated!

In other news, our Fantasy Football draft is tonight. I'm looking forward to both the real and fantasy football seasons. It's particularly enjoyable for those around me to see how angry I get when my fantasy football team performs in a less than mediocre fashion, but this year, I will regain what is rightfully mine -- a championship. I plan to dominate tonight with my sixth overall pick in the draft. Who will I be selecting? It's unknown at this time. Let's just say it will be the best pick in the history of fantasy football...and even football in general. Plus, I've been recently informed that I will actually have a cheerleader with me during the draft. Katherine has so graciously decided to support me with her "Hurrah's!", scissor kicks, and skimpy cheer outfit (at my request), which is more than I can say for the other members of the league. See, I'm already off to a good start!

Good luck in the draft tonight, gentlemen...you'll need it!

Katherine Gunther Quote of the Day:
Gosh Darn Poo!

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Lympies
Time:	11:22 am.

After seventeen days of pikes, spikes, flips, and sprints, the Olympics have finally come to an end. Overall, the Olympics were well done, and I was thoroughly entertained and captivated by the entire event. Here are a few memorable pictures from the Lympies that needed sharing:

Ew.

Unneccessary.

Losers.

Ow.

Her boyfriend is the luckiest man alive.

The topic for tomorrow's journal entry: my highly anticipated return to UCSB.

There is a Goat in the Tree Picture of the Day:

Katherine Gunther Quote of the Day:
Wait...are you hitting on me?

Valerie Carr Quote of the Day:
Wait...are you hitting on me?

Alyson Aaris Quote of the Day:
Wait...are you hitting on me?

The Simpsons Quote of the Day (continued from previous entry):
Skinner walks Chalmers outside to say goodbye.
Agnes (Skinner's Mom inside the house): Seymour! The house in on fire!
Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say -- you steam a good ham.
Chalmers walks off. He looks back at Skinner, who flashes him the thumbs-up sign as the whole house is now on fire.
Agnes (hanging out the window): Help! Help!

Comments: Read 14 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	The Jak-el: Part Two
Time:	4:30 pm.

Here is the second part in the Journal of Jak, outlined in a picture summary:

Above: Ridiculous. Look at how cute he is!

Left: Here you can notice Jak and his bit of a "weight problem".
Right: Here you can see Jak has slimmed down since going on his medication.

Left: We threw John a surprise birthday party in the summer of 1999. John, Dustin, and I thought it would be a "good idea" to take the balloons from John's party and cover Jak in them. As you can see, he was not amused.
Right: John and Jak later in the birthday party night. Jak is still pissed at us.

Left: Jak and his Goofy Face #1.
Right: Jak and his Goofy Face #2. Ha!

Left: Jak sleeping with his Blanky...in Arizona...during the summer. Other things to note: His paw.
Right: After he sleeps, he gets the "Smushed Face" look, which is captured here.

Left: Jak is waiting for my Mom to come and sit on the couch with him, so he can do this:
Right: Lean on her.

John also provided some hilarious commentary (which I have posted below as well) into more of Jak's thought processes:

Everyone knows the only things Jak is ever thinking are:

Why do I run outside whenever I hear "Jak out"?

Why does Jen always say, "Give Dustin Kiss" or "Give John Kiss"?

Why is Shadow humping me?

Move, I want to sit there.

Why do they put milk in my bowl instead of water?

They used to call me "Yellowhead" but now they don't.

I hate the way Jen eats her cereal.

I love peeing without lifting my leg.

Dustin's room is fucking cold.

So, there he is in a nutshell -- my wonderful and adorable pooch! He's the best!!

I'm About To Get Ridiculed of the Day: By John, who will not be pleased with my not-the-same-size pictures and my inability to use Adobe Photoshop correctly.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day (continued from previous entry):
Skinner retires to the kitchen for a moment. When he walks back into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is now in flames.
Skinner: (faking a yawn) Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be -- (notices the kitchen on fire) Good Lord! What is happening in there?
Skinner: ...Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!
Skinner: ...Yes.
Chalmers: ...May I see it?
Skinner: ...No.

to be continued...

Comments: Read 14 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	The Jak-el: Part One
Time:	4:49 pm.

As many of you know, Jak is my family's wonderful dog. We got the tiny Dalmatian puppy when I was ten, and almost fourteen years later, he's still going strong and is as cute as ever!

As a puppy, Jak had many stomach adventures in his life, which included some of the following:

Bringing him home on the first day and having him throw up Spaghetti-O's in the car, thus bringing me to the conclusion that his breeders should be shot.
At my 11th birthday party, Jak (about one at the time) decided it would be a good idea to devour my entire chocolate birthday cake. Again, we were treated to his digestive problems.
Around the age of two, Jak licked a poisonous caterpillar. ... ... You see where this is going.
Having to give Jak the delightful drug, Dramamine, whenever we took a road trip due to his nauseous history.

After surviving these vomitous first few years, Jak got into a comfortable routine that can be seen in this diary entry written exclusively by him...He's very smart.:

Wake Up.
Give Mom and Dad a kiss and follow them into the kitchen.
Become attached to Mom's hip until she feeds me.
Eat.
Pretend that I didn't eat and wait for second helpings.

Eat again.
Go wake up Jen with lots of kisses and follow her into the kitchen.
"No, Jen, Mom did not feed me and I'm oh-so-hungry!"

Eat again.
"Good morning, Dustin!"
Eat.
Sleep for 15 hours.

Everyone's home -- Yay! Kiss kiss, tail wag tail wag, kiss kiss!
Dinnertime!
Soooooooo tired -- I had a rough day. Goodnight!

Jak, in his later years, developed a bit of a "weight problem". (Sidenote: Due to him being "big-boned", Jak was made famous in John Ohab's Celebrity Doubles section.) It was determined a couple of years ago that Jak had a thyroid problem, which was attributed to his weight gain and his grumpiness. He went on a thyroid medication and became a new dog -- ten years young with a new lease on life! He lost a bunch of weight, shed his old coat that was replaced with new and soft fur, and became a much happier pooch. He's even more of a goofball now, such as when John throws Lucky Charms to him and they bounce off of his head or he jumps up to catch them after the Lucky Charms have already landed on the floor, or when he and I have growling contests, or when he leans back on my Mom when she's on the couch to snuggle with her. I can't believe he'll be fourteen in December! He's a fantastic dog, and we all love him very much! (More on Jak tomorrow...)

Chris Rock Quote of the Day:
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day (continued from previous entry):
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, these are patented Skinner Burgers...old family recipe.
Chalmers: For "steamed hams".
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. (shows Skinner the grill marks)
Skinner: Uh...you know...one thing I sh--...excuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.

to be continued...

Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	A Belated Update
Time:	8:45 pm.

I must apologize for the lack of journal entries lately. I usually have time to tap into my "creative side" and write entries at work...you know, instead of actually working...but, unfortunately, work has been rather busy for the past two weeks and has kept me fairly occupied. So, I extend my apologies to my devoted readers who have eagerly anticipated an entry, and I promise that this week will contain a few posts. The basis for this promise? -- My boss will be out of town starting on Wednesday all the way through Labor Day. :) Journal entries to follow this week include:

Lindsay's Graduation
A Miscellaneous Picture Summary
My fabulous dog, Jak

Until then, I leave you with two completely random thoughts:

Does this poor, poor animal really enjoy wearing this god-awful outfit?

Are the sunglasses really necessary?

Happy Anniversary of the Day:
It is the first year wedding anniversary of Brian/Josh and Kathy Jackson! Happy Anniversary, you two!! Here's to an eternity more filled with best wishes, happiness, and love!

The Naked Gun Reference of the Day:

"Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her."

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Principal Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendent Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no...I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: ...You call hamburgers "steamed hams".
Skinner: Uh...yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh...upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no...it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.

to be continued...

Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Quiz THIS!
Time:	3:27 pm.

Katherine sent me the following quiz; We took turns filling it out, and I found it to be rather amusing. Feel free to post your answers!

Choose a band or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:

(I filled in the following answers for me...)

Band/Artist: Weezer

Describe yourself: Take Control
How do some people feel about you: Slave (to my boss); Possibilities (to everyone else)
How do you feel about yourself: American Gigolo (hahahahaha!)
Describe where you want to be: Island in the Sun
Describe what you want to be: No One Else
Describe how you live: In the Garage
Describe how you love: Love Explosion
Share a few words of wisdom: Why Bother?

(Katherine filled in the following answers for me...)

Band/Artist: Radiohead

Describe yourself: Paranoid Android
How do some people feel about you: Subterranean Homesick Alien
How do you feel about yourself: I Can't
Describe where you want to be: Climbing Up the Walls
Describe what you want to be: Lucky
Describe how you live: Packed like sardines in a crushed tin box
Describe how you love: Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was
Share a few words of wisdom: 2 2 = 5 (I Might Be Wrong)

(Katherine filled in the following answers for her...)

Band/Artist: The Beatles

Describe yourself: Girl
How do some people feel about you: Baby's in Black
How do you feel about yourself: I Feel Fine
Describe where you want to be: Back in the U.S.S.R.
Describe what you want to be: Getting Better
Describe how you live: I'm Only Sleeping
Describe how you love: Here, There, and Everywhere
Share a few words of wisdom: Let It Be

(I filled in the following answers for Katherine...)

Band/Artist: Cole Porter

Describe yourself: Too Darn Hot
How do some people feel about you: I Get a Kick Out of You
How do you feel about yourself: It's All Right with Me
Describe where you want to be: In the Still of the Night
Describe what you want to be: Easy to Love
Describe how you live: Let's Misbehave
Describe how you love: So in Love (or if you're in a bad mood: What Is This Thing Called Love)
Share a few words of wisdom: Anything Goes

John Ohab Email of the Day:
Jen: I just saw the new teaser for Batman Begins. Is it going to be good?
John: Should be good. Christians Bale was spotted jumping off a building in a bat suit in New York recently. I like Batman. Richard bought a new house in Phoeny.

Lindsay Ohab Quote of the Day: (referring to Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas)
At least I can watch her in their music videos and not think she's trying to have sex with me.

The Simpsons Quote of the Day:
Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex...It's also the food preparation.

Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.